Friday, April 22, 2011

My blog

I recently had someone ask me why exactly I had started a blog.  I said that I had a few thoughts to share.  Then he asked me why I am being so shy about giving out my blog information to people.  I said I wasnt sure I really wanted anyone to read it.  "So isnt that just a journal then"? Hmmmm. 
The reason I am writing this is because maybe he is right.  Maybe I shouldnt be doing a blog if I wont really let anyone read it.  LOL.  To be continued...

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Lexie is having a baby!

I went to my best friend's baby shower today.  I sat next to her and collected all the trash, and remembered all the names and played the part while thinking "this sucks".  I won a Starbucks gift card and smiled and all the while thought about how I am the only woman here who is not either pregnant or given birth and felt sad.  Then I came home and poured myself some wine and felt sad and thought about how everyone was having babies, but not me.  Boo hoo. 

Then I was like "my best friend is having a baby".... Oh my God!  I went through the roof with joy!  I thought about every moment my friend would have with this baby/child and felt so much gratittude that I actually started to cry.  Happy tears.  And then I thought about all the moments that I would have with this baby/child and cried even more.  My best friend is having a baby!  Hallelujah!

And somewhere I realized that just because it wasnt my baby....did not mean that I couldnt love it and be the best auntie in the world!  And that didnt mean because I wasnt a "mommy" per se, didnt mean that I didnt have something, some little bundle of joy, to give love to.  It was just going to be different, and that is really okay.  My best friend is having a baby.  And I could not be more excited.