I went to my best friend's baby shower today. I sat next to her and collected all the trash, and remembered all the names and played the part while thinking "this sucks". I won a Starbucks gift card and smiled and all the while thought about how I am the only woman here who is not either pregnant or given birth and felt sad. Then I came home and poured myself some wine and felt sad and thought about how everyone was having babies, but not me. Boo hoo.
Then I was like "my best friend is having a baby".... Oh my God! I went through the roof with joy! I thought about every moment my friend would have with this baby/child and felt so much gratittude that I actually started to cry. Happy tears. And then I thought about all the moments that I would have with this baby/child and cried even more. My best friend is having a baby! Hallelujah!
And somewhere I realized that just because it wasnt my baby....did not mean that I couldnt love it and be the best auntie in the world! And that didnt mean because I wasnt a "mommy" per se, didnt mean that I didnt have something, some little bundle of joy, to give love to. It was just going to be different, and that is really okay. My best friend is having a baby. And I could not be more excited.