Saturday, April 9, 2011

Lexie is having a baby!

I went to my best friend's baby shower today.  I sat next to her and collected all the trash, and remembered all the names and played the part while thinking "this sucks".  I won a Starbucks gift card and smiled and all the while thought about how I am the only woman here who is not either pregnant or given birth and felt sad.  Then I came home and poured myself some wine and felt sad and thought about how everyone was having babies, but not me.  Boo hoo. 

Then I was like "my best friend is having a baby".... Oh my God!  I went through the roof with joy!  I thought about every moment my friend would have with this baby/child and felt so much gratittude that I actually started to cry.  Happy tears.  And then I thought about all the moments that I would have with this baby/child and cried even more.  My best friend is having a baby!  Hallelujah!

And somewhere I realized that just because it wasnt my baby....did not mean that I couldnt love it and be the best auntie in the world!  And that didnt mean because I wasnt a "mommy" per se, didnt mean that I didnt have something, some little bundle of joy, to give love to.  It was just going to be different, and that is really okay.  My best friend is having a baby.  And I could not be more excited.  

1 comment:

  1. Cari--I totally can relate to how you feel on the babyless and manless level...but your absolutely right in saying that is going to be your baby too! It takes a VILLAGE to raise a child... that baby is going to need as much love as it can possibly get!!! We get to be Aunties!!! It is the most awesome and rewarding gift I can even think of:) I get sooo much fulfillment seeing my siblings become parents and I love how I get to jump in to the fun:) You know maybe we are suppose to love other peoples children and be a strength to their parents!!! And we get the freedom to make exotic food and craft to our hearts content:) YAY! We are BLESSED:)