Saturday, August 27, 2011

Tofu tamales

I made these yummy tofu tamales today....they have tofu and olives and onions and chipotle, and Mexican cheese! What more could a girl want in a tamale, right?!
Mix up the innards first: melt 2 tbls butter and throw in a chopped onion. Cool until caramelized, then add 4 tbls chipotle in adobo, chopped. Give it a min, then throw in a tub of crumbled tofu, a small can of sliced lives, and salt and pepper. Cook for about 10 mins longer.
Mix 2 cups masa with 1 tsp salt and 1 1/2 tsps baking powder. Add 1 cup canola oil, 2 cups veggie broth.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Caprese Salad

I'm sure you've had a caprese salad, in the dead of summer with the best tomatoes you can find...but you have not had MY caprese salad, which has a couple extra kicks!

Caprese Salad ala Cari
The ripest tomatoes in the world...two biggies
Mozerella balls marinated in oil and herbs (cut about 6 in half)
Basil (A fist full cut into strips)
Truffle oil- a dash
Balsamic Vinegar- a dash
Smoked Sea Salt- a pinch
Fresh Ground Pepper- a grind or two

Toss it all together, and use a yummy sourdough to mop up the juices! 
Tomorrow...an incredibly easy and very impressive meringue with peaches...perfect for bookclub!
Wait for it....totes wait for it!!!!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Broke

This summer I am trying very hard to break my emotional attachment to money.  I mean, come on, its just money...right??  I didnt really have to even come to terms with money until I was 32, when my husband and I split.  He always made quite a bit and there was always extra if we needed it.  We owned a house, two cars, a boat, a camper, two quads and a dirt bike for recreation.  Costco trips cost upwards of $400 and we did it twice a month.  When I left that marriage, I had just finished the teaching credential program, moved  in with my parents, was commuting with a crappy old car, and had not a penny for the first two months, until my first summer school paycheck. 

I have come a very long way since then.  It took me 6 months to find a place that would take me and my three dogs, and the landlord was willing to let me make payments on the deposit.  I did not have cable, or internet.  At that point, I had bought a new car and needed to make sacrifices in other areas.  I went through phases of choosing what bill to pay and what bill I could put off till next month.  I had to let a couple of credit cards that I had used during the last part of graduate school to go to collections.  I even used a few of those awful payday loan places, before I figured it all out.  And here's the deal now.  My bills are all paid monthly.  I have a credit card used specifically for gas.  I have very cheap, slow, internet and am still debating whether to get cable again.  I do everything I possibly can to keep my PG and E bill down (side note:  Kevin was very inconsiderate about this....cranking up the heat instead of just putting some pants or a sweatshirt on, leaving the television on for the dogs!  I mean, come on.) I have a budget book, which includes all my incoming and outgoing expenses and how much I have each week to spend on things that are extra.  There are a few things however, that are priorities and I just won't skimp on...getting my hair cut and colored, fresh organic veggies, and all natural (albiet more expensive) cleaning products and toiletries. 

And the thing is, at the end of the month (another sidenote: teachers only get paid once a month)....I am pretty much always still left feeling completely broke and totally embarrassed about it.  I am not sure how to change this.  I don't like the anxiety I feel at the end of the month, wondering if I can make it on the small amount of food left, and if I can ride my bike wherever I need to go, as to avoid buying gas for my empty car.  I am well aware, that according to the laws of attraction, my anxiety and fear around money only serve to perpetuate the problem...but honestly, I just can't seem to let it go and relax about it.  As many times as I tell myself it will all work out, which it always does, there is still the voice in the back of my head saying "Loser!  You are broke AGAIN!".

There is something to be said for the wonderful house I now find myself living in, and the fact that I have another beautiful new car...but not having really any spending money, now that sucks.

A quiet retreat

Its weird not talking to anyone for a whole day, even weirder for more than one day.  I mean, I have talked to people, to order food, pay for my massage, the girl at the farmers market with the indian food....but I havent really TALKED to anyone.  When I was younger, I think that this would have probably really bothered me.  I would have felt incredibly lonely.  Now I just sort of, notice it.  See I have recently made a commitment to myself.  This commitment is that regardless of whether or not I have someone else, a significant other, in my life, I will still commit to taking vacations and trying new things, even if I am doing it alone.  I am proud of myself for this, and most of the day I feel completely happy and satisfied.  But when evening rolls around, and I have done everything I wanted to do during the day, then I notice that there's no one here but me and Dave Matthews on Pandora.  And even that keeps shutting off for some reason.

Traveling alone takes bravery.  When I say I am visiting here, completely by myself, people either look at me with envy or pity.  Seriously.  There is no other expression.  I may have mentioned this before, but I honestly believe that people who have been married or living with someone for a long time, think that the rest of us are just perpetually lonely.  Which really isnt true.  Sure we have moments of loneliness, but I honestly believe that not many more of us single people are lonely then people who have paired off.  Someone once told me that its much lonelier to be with someone and feel alone, then actually be truly alone.  Interesting thought, huh?

And really, when I am home, the only time I really feel lonely is when there is some sort of major catastrophe, and I wish I wasnt dealing with it alone.  Or in the evenings, after I have done all I want to do, and there is no one to talk to about how bad the tv is tonight, or how interesting my book has become.  No one to say "hey I think I am going to bed", to.  So I think I will just take my tea out to the beach and watch the sunset.  By myself.  And it won't be any less spectacular.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

6 Buddhas

I guess I sort of collect buddhas.  They are just so peaceful and serene.  Anyway....on to more important topics, I have a question.  For you.  I know that I only have a few readers, and among those there are certainly several who are not actually reading my blog, but like me and are followers just to be nice:).  And that's all good.  But my question, people, is this.  In the beginning of my short blog career I was posting recipes.  Now I have mainly been rambling on about my love life, and other random things.  Which do you prefer?  I can start doing mostly food stuff, or continue with my random thoughts.  Or both.  Please please please let me know your opinions, via email, text, or best of all, a comment on the actual blog.  I would like to try and bring in more readers and I would like to know what appeals to people currently reading the most.  Thank you.   Peace out.