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Go figure, right. This one is opinionated and is probably going to piss a few people off but I am going to do it anyway. Its been writing itself in my head for awhile, but today, in my PMS mood, post painful cortisone shot, I am going to unleash it. Hope my few readers don't dump me all at once.
Moms that are constantly talking about how hard it is to be a mom....YES. It is. I am a teacher and so I know how difficult young children can be, how exhausted they make you, the constant demands for attention....I do get it. But here's the thing: I had one dream my whole life. It was not to be a lawyer, or a doctor or a movie star. I wanted to be a mom. Because of fate, or whatever you want to call it, I am not a mom. I tried for 5 years with my ex-husband, and it was not going to happen. Now I am 36. I know some very brave women who are doing it on their own, but with my 10-12 hour days and low teacher salary, honestly, it does not seem like the responsible choice to do that. I may at some point change my mind. I feel like you who are constantly talking about how hard it is are taking for granted something that never was an option for some of us, although we wanted it terribly. I kinda want to tell you where to go.
That's all. Thanks for listening.
here, here! i, too, have struggled with infertility and the frustration of hearing mothers complain about their children. the one comment i HATE is when i say "i can't have kids" and they say "want mine?" that's just the rudest thing you can say. it's rude to your kids and it devalues the pain i've had to endure throughout the process of finally coming to terms with not being able to have kids. so, rock on, cari, i'm with you all the way!
ReplyDeleteI think this is one thing most people never think about unless faced with the situation themselves. It is so easy for so many and they have no idea the struggles some of us go through. I resolved to the fact that I would never have kids, then after two miscarriages I got pregnant with twins and have two healthy beautiful girls and was fortunate enough to not have to resort to infertility treatments. If the time is right it will happen. I know that that doens't bring comfort but it is the reality. And although there may be many people out there that simply don't understand how hurtful they are being and many others that just take for granted what they have been so blessed with, please know there are many of us out there that understand your journey, that would never be offended by what you have written, that respect your feelings and struggles and wish for you that in the end you have exactly what you want. I feel very blessed to have my children and am greatful for them every day. And your time hasn't run out yet, my mom had me at 40 after trying for a while and she was a wonderful mom and I was a perfectly healthy child and now adult. You never know what is just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments ladies...and the reminder Cathy that it is really time to post again:)
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